Bullies don’t just exist in schools, playgrounds, workplace, and the Internet. It can also happen in a relationship or married couples, especially when a spouse frequently intimidates the other party or denies them freedom and autonomy. This can be a big problem in marriage, particularly if the bullied spouse doesn’t feel loved and safe in the marriage anymore.

When bullying exists, it can be harder for both couples to be happy and satisfied. It can also make it difficult for the relationship to flourish or survive in the long-term. This is why it is why understandable why bullied spouses feel the need to end their marriage and pursue a divorce. Santa Fe family law attorneys note that this move can make sense to stop the bullying and the abuse.

The bully husband or wife

Bully husbands have the need to dominate or take control of the marriage or their finances. They sometimes deny their wives freedom, undermine their efforts, as well as call them negative names that may also take in the form of belittling adjectives. This can lower the self-confidence of the bullied party and make them feel small or powerless.

Wives can be too, especially when use tactics like cynicism and humiliation to belittle or make the other party feel interior. They may also try to put their spouse down by sharing their secrets publicly in a negative way. There can be a lot of emotional intimidation happening by making unreasonable expectations, using verbal assaults, and making the spouse feel bad.

Other signs of bullying (in both husbands and wives) include:

  • Using an intimidating or demanding tone when asking for help

  • Making punitive or condescending comments to the other spouse

  • Blaming the other party for everything (even though it is not their fault)

  • Displaying physical and verbal aggression

  • Taunting the other spouse

  • Ignoring or rejecting the other party (withholding affection or putting down their suggestions and ideas)

  • Blackmailing (emotional) to get what they want

Bullies can also try to act in a way that may cause the other party to distance themselves from their support network. They may do this by saying bad things or being extremely hostile to their family and friends. They do this to make their partner dependent upon them and take away their support system.

The motivation for bullying

Victim of domestic violence hidingThere is a number of motivations or reasons one spouse bullies the other. Some people put down their partners to hide their feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacies. Others, meanwhile, do so to feel better or superior. There also cases where the bully is being bullied in the workplace or other places, then bring it home.

Other reasons for bullying include:

  • Feeling frustrated or angry

  • Failure to recognize their own behavior as a problem

  • Having a lack of remorse

  • Wanting to dominate others

  • Struggling socially

Seeking help or a support system is beneficial. This is because there are cases where standing up to the bully can lead to more bullying and danger. If divorce seems to be the right answer, it is best to work with a reliable divorce attorney for guidance during the process. Ending the marriage can be scary and heartbreaking, but it is sometimes ideal to end the abuse and start anew.

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